SPOILER ALERT!

I'm in the mood for our latest scary movie reviews!

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

(My aunt got on me about not mentioning "Spoiler Alert" last time I reviewed some movies lol)

****PICTURES AND DESCRIPTIONS BELOW!****

The only way I can really express how lame the endings were is by spoiling what the monsters looked like. Plus, I am doing you a favor by saving you money and time. If you still feel like watching, REDBOX ONLY!

First Movie Review: INSIDIOUS

"IT'S NOT THE HOUSE THAT'S HAUNTED". Think you're gonna get an awesome creepy child movie? Well, you're wrong. The kid is in a coma because he is an "astral projector", meaning when he sleeps, he can wander between the parallel universe of "The Further" where the lost souls of demons and the dead live.

It is creepy when he draws pictures of himself watching himself sleep and also of the red door to the parallel universe.

While he is in a coma, his little brother requests to sleep in a different room because he "doesn't like when Dalton walks around at night." So creepy!! And during the mini-seance, Dalton (the boy in a coma) is standing next to them, pounds his fist on the table and they all go flying. ONLY creepy boy scenes.

Turns out the dad was also an astral projector and had a demon after him who wanted his body while he was stranded in The Further. The lost-spirit chasing after his body is this old woman with a candle

Kind of reminds me of the dead guy in Hocus Pocus :)

So, this little boy has a demon who has been watching over his body trying to get in. His demon pops up randomly at the dinner table and it scared the heck out of me! But then you get a few too many looks at the hoofed demon and this is what you get...

A tribal dancing Darth Maul look alike lol

End of story, dad brings child back, dad is ultimately posessed by his childhood monster.



Movie Review 2:  APOLLO 18

I LOVE mockumentaries. It's always scarier when it seems like it could be real (Like Paranomal Activity; which has a prequal coming out next month!)

The government calls these 3 astronaut-in-training-friends on a secret mission they can't tell anyone about, not even their families.

One man stays in the shuttle orbiting the moon while the other two are launched down to the moon to install cameras around the "south pole".

The two men start setting up the cameras and notice strange rocks that they end up taking for samples. During the night, lights flicker, strange noises occur, they wake up and a rock sample is out of the bag and on the floor. They then see strange tracks outside the shuttle (lines on movie poster). They start following the trails and see other astronaut foot trails.

The footprints lead to an abandoned Russian shuttle but no one around. One US astronaut decides to wander down a crater and ends up finding a dead Russian astronaut.

In the mean time, one astronaut has been attacked by something that got in his suit. His friend ends up digging this rock lump out of his side and it quickly becomes infected.

The infected astronaut starts going crazy and gets very hostile. Films his friend sleeping for a few hours and then freaks out on him.

Their communication isn't working, NASA is trying to help, but they are running out of oxygen. They head to the Russian craft, the infected astronaut is swept away and taken, the other guy gets the shuttle started and is heading back to the original shuttle. NASA is telling the orbiting guy not to let him on board because he has been infected. But they end up colliding and dying.

The credits mention that they told friends and family they each died in different training experiments.

Here is a glimpse of the moon monster

They are spiders that turn into rocks for camouflage..literally.


Movie Review 3: DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK

Another fun creepy child movie? No, not really.

This little girl is forced to live with her father and his girlfriend (Katie Holmes) in an abandoned home he is renovating that an old famous painter once lived in with his child.

While wandering around the outside of the house, following whispers calling out "Sally", the little girl stumbles upon a basement window. They didnt even know it existed because houses in that area didnt have basements due to "sink holes".

They find the hidden door to the basement and discover this is where the painter did his work. Meanwhile, Sally is intrigued with this fireplace where she hears whispers all night telling her to set them free so they can be friends. "Come to the basement and play with us Sally." So of course, she follows the sound.

Whatever happened to "don't talk to strangers". lol

Sally ends up opening the fireplace and strange things start happening. She hears things crawling around her bed telling her to turn off the light because they don't like it. One crawls under her sheets and of course, she goes to look for it.

This part scared me so bad, I jumped!

Looks pretty scary huh!? Turns out they are little gnome people (furry like rats and 5 inches tall) that live in the fireplace because it leads to some underground world of theirs where they must take a child victim as one of their own.

They terrorize Sally, cut the power to house, attack the girlfriend, and eventually get ropes around Sally's legs and drag her downstairs. Meanwhile, the non-believing father is being terrorized as well by 5 inch rat people in the garage.

walking gnome-rat-people

Katie Holmes saves Sally before she gets dragged into the fireplace. She ends up cutting Sally lose and gets pulled against the wall as the ropes break her shins backwards as she gets pulled into the hole.

At the very end, you hear the creatures whisper, "What will we do?" "We will bring others to get them." But then you hear Kim's voice whispering as well saying, "We will dig deeper. Soon they will forget. They always do. "We have all the time in the world," and the other creatures repeat after her saying, "Yes, we have all the time in the world."

Creepy ending... whispering is always creepy lol.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

SO..... what do these movies have in common??? Amazing potential to be great movies, but they are ruined with really lame "monsters". I feel some of the scariest movies come with not knowing what the monster is, or only getting flashes of it. Hollywood is ruining the scary by having lame monsters; A.K.A. Darth Maul with hooves, rock spiders, and rat people.

We LOVE movies so I hope you enjoy the sporadic movie reviews :)